What I really want is control.
There are SO many things that happen during childbirth. So many variables.
The doctor can give you a due date, but it is just a best guess. Even if you have gone through childbirth before, the next one can be completely different.
I decided many years before I was pregnant that I would want to deliver without medication because of stories that heard from other women. EVERY story I heard about a mom getting an epidural had some sort of cringe factor and weird side-effect.
“They hit my bone with the needle and I could hear the clicking.”
“I kept hearing ringing in my ears.”
“I cant feel this part of my leg anymore.”
And my favorite “It didn’t work.”
Now those things don’t sound so bad by themselves. They really just sound like inconveniences.
What I was/am truly afraid of is Pitocin.
Its the drug they use to induce labor. It MAKES your body have contractions. And from what I heard across the board, induced labor is VERY VERY painful. Then you really have no option but to get the epidural.
I’ve also heard but am not sure of the statistics that sometimes when you get the epidural, the contractions become less active and then you are induced with Pitocin.
So Epidural leads to Pitocin which leads to more pain meds—>more Pitocin…and it just keeps going.
So what if you are induced with Pitocin, you are going through additional pain in an already very painful process and you get the pain medication and it doesn’t work???
That is/was my greatest fear.
I knew it was going to hurt. I didn’t want to add more pain.
The contractions hurt, but you know its going to end.
If I were injured or sick and in pain, I will take the pain meds.
But I’m not injured. There is an end. And I have some sort of control. I know it will end. I don’t have to worry about side effects or wondering if the meds will work. I can “concentrate” (there is no concentrating in labor) on the current situation and deal and wait and labor through it.
Another upside to going through childbirth naturally is I don’t have to talk about stuff with the anesthesiologist before I am discharged. I don’t know what he talks to you about or what he says, but its one less thing.
I also got to be discharged early.
My favorite part is the adrenaline I feel the moment the baby is born. The pain is over and I feel like I have all the energy in the world…for about 3 days. I’ve read here and there that women that had the drugs don’t feel this because they have to wait for the drugs to wear off. I cant really verify that though.
So there you have it.
I’m not “crunchy” or “granola”. I just wanted control. And I have been blessed enough to have my child-birthing experiences the way I wanted them.
What I really want is control.
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